Little Farm of Horrors Part I

Happy Halloween, everyone! It’s our first real holiday here at the farm, and of course we just had to do a little decorating. Nothing too crazy, just a few old gravestones and some of Lizzy and Sarah’s homemade ghosties floating about…

Don’t let the “home-made” thing fool you, though – these suckers are pretty high-tech. There are literally no strings attached; not only do each of these benign-looking, unthreatening ghosts contain the latest in hovercraft technology – pairing ultra-cooled superconductors with powerful, permanent magnets in a process known as “magnetic pinning” – but they also house the tortured souls of actual drifters whom Lizzy has taken in and given our home-made elderberry wine as an act of “charity.”  Pretty neat!

The gravestones, of course, are those cheap, Styrofoam things one finds at any drug or department store. We’ve had these ones for a few years now, and it shows. Still, they get the job done, and are a fine addition to the landscape, at least until we get around to filling up our real graveyard. Time to get that “Room for Rent” sign back out!

Oh, and we carved pumpkins, of course. This is always my favorite part of the holiday, though I have to admit it’s a little tougher when you’ve got a kid involved. For one thing, there’s the potential danger of letting her handle a sharp knife – I mean, last year Sarah held one of our Henckels for barely five minutes before she snapped and went on an hour-long stabbing spree up and down the neighborhood. And that was on Easter. Imagine what troubles a holiday celebrating death could bring?

But we pulled it off, somehow. And the results were great!

That’s mine on the left, and Sarah’s on the right. So yep – that cubist beauty in the middle was actually carved by Lizzy.

We saved most of the seeds and Lizzy salted them and toasted them up nice. Next year, if we’re lucky, we plan on growing our own pumpkins – both for carving and for food. No more canned pumpkin pie mix for us…

Now our neighborhood is too sparse, and our house is way too far off the road (and uphill) to attract any trick-or-treaters, so come Halloween night we left our area and joined one of Sarah’s friends (and his parents) for some trick-or-treating in another neighborhood, this one well-known for the most foot traffic, the coolest decorations and the best treats. Sarah had a great time, and took in quite a haul. There was so much candy that I got nauseated just looking at it…

We ended the night back at home with steaming cups of fresh mulled cider – one of my annual traditions. Toss in a shot or two of spiced rum, settle in for a scary movie, and you’ve got yourself a night. I highly recommend it!

Just don’t forget to keep your kids away from the knives – and the Elderberry wine.

Trust me, that stuff’ll kill you!

– Jason

P.S. If you’re interested in some of the other scary things we deal with every day here, keep your eyes out for Little Farm of Horrors Part II, coming soon! Muaahahahahahahah……….


2 thoughts on “Little Farm of Horrors Part I

  1. Dare I say it was probably no coincidence that you and Lizzy met on Halloween? What fun, and once again I wish I was there… But now I wonder. If I come spend some time with you, might I end up, like Norman Bates’ mother, sitting in a rocking chair by a window somewhere overlooking your property, petrifying into dust, while you go mad below? I’d rather go out with a “wine”….. he he.

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